Mission aborted.

What would a bad relationship be without regret. Probably a good one.



My ex was driving me to work one night at my overnight job as she had been doing all winter. When we pulled into the parking lot, she decided to park in the back instead of driving up to the front. In my head, I’m thinking this is the start of a very ugly night.

Her- I want to talk to you about something.
Me- Can we do this after work?
Her- No.
Me- Please?
Her- Fine. Have fun at work.
Me- Ooooo-k?

I go about my night like any other night when my phone starts going off. Hmmm, I bet she’s still in the parking lot.

Her- I need to talk to you right now.
Me- (genuinely concerned) What’s wrong, baby?
Her- Do you love me?
Me- Of course I do. Is everything ok?
Her- I don’t know. I think so. I don't know.
Me- Can this wait till after work, babe?

Wrong thing to say.

Her- Blah blah blah (goes on for five minutes or so) blah blah blah. Do you ever care about anything? Something about something. You don't love me! Yadda yadda yadaa. I’m pregnant!

Holy shit!

Her- …and yes, its yours.

It fucking better be.

So I get off of work to continue this conversation in person. “Ummm, I have a family emergency.” It was kinda true.

According to Chris Rock, I said one of only two things I was allowed to say...


(its all funny, but I'm talking about the 3:10 mark)

Me- What are you gonna do?
Her- I don’t know.
Me- Whatever it is, I'm completely behind you.

I’m such a great boyfriend.

We (mostly she) decided we weren’t ready. Sure, I guess we weren't. Whatever. We went through the proper channels and finally found ourselves at the ‘unholy’ place a few weeks later. Being there just felt illegal. Almost like we were attending a secret civil rights meeting in the 50's. The legal limit (we were told) was three months, we were just shy of two. When they called her name, I looked her right in the eye and made my final attempt.

Me- I don’t want you to do this.
Her- What?
Me- We can do this. We can make it work.
Her- We can’t.
Me- Yes we can. Don’t do it.
Her- We’re already here.

Whaaaaaa?!? We’re already here!?

Was she serious? That’s her excuse? What the fuck? I’m a decent person, so I wasn’t gonna make her feel like a shitty person about her decision. I held her hand and that was that. Saying it was a disturbing experience would be like saying Hitler wasn't a nice guy. Yeah, understatement of the year. **Side note: Whatever you may believe in, I do not recommend such a choice. You die a little inside. Unless you're a robot. Are you a robot?**

For the rest of our relationship, she always used that as a crutch against me like it was my choice. "I did that for us, and now -insert current fight here-." Bullshit. One of her arguments was it would have hindered her career as an aspiring 'entertainer', for lack of specificity and keeping the somewhat innocent still innocent.

After we broke up, I did some math (which I'm surprisingly good at) and realized the possible window of conception was a span of four or five days where I was only with her for two of them. The other couple of days she was on a camping trip with a youth group. Coincidence? It may explain her refusal to change her mind. Or maybe she was just selfish. Either way, I’m glad she’s not the mother of my child.

Fucking Psycho.

After typing this, I'm starting to feel like a horrible person. It’ll pass, I'm sure. It always does.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

hate to say it but i feel your pain. right after MY psycho ex aborted, that's when the relationship should have ended. the fights REALLY started after that for us. and i stayed with her for a year and a half after that.

something crazy . . . i sometimes doubt she was actually pregnant. we were long distance, and had unprotected sex for only the 3 days IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING her period. either we had super-gametes, or she was making that shit up. i was too trusting at the time to even think about deception . . . but knowing what i know now, i should have figured it could be a ploy for SOMETHING.

Anonymous said...

i have a child with my psycho ex-girlfriend and its the worst thing that can ever happen, he calls and emails my new lady friend telling her she broke up a family and everything is her fault, my new girl is starting to think it is her fault and i'm so sorry for her, my ex will not leave me alone because of our lovely daughter who i love so much but my love for her is on par with my hate for my ex.

Remy said...

~points upward~ Guys aren't really that smart about ovulation, but three days AFTER your period are some of the more receptive days of pregnancy. As the real meat of my statement, I hate chicks who throw that down as an excuse. I've never been there, so I can't quite sympathize the same, but I know that when it comes to personal decision? I don't think I'd tell my boyfriend. If I took something away from him that was that important, I would keep it to myself. I know that probably sounds selfish, but I know I wouldn't be ready for at least another decade. Mind you, I'm adopted, so I understand the strength and admiration that comes from adoption. But I couldn't do that either. I'm not strong enough. I wish I was. ♥

But bluntly, taking that and throwing it in your face is so inappropriate it makes me sick.

Anonymous said...

i know how this goes, we were 16 at the time and it really was a fucked up situtation. We talked about it, and she convinced me (i may have wanted it a little) that it should be done. now i can see her point of why it should have been done but i do feel like i died a little.

My ex was crazy (not as nuts as yours) now she has a new boyfriend, i feel sorry for the road that he is going to go down. the first 3-6 months is always the best.

Anonymous said...

I got my ex pregnant, and she went out drinking one night. At 3 in the morning she sent me a text telling me she was slowly killing my baby with shots of Patron. Then another one to tell me she drove home totally drunk and totally pregnant.

Yay psycho women.

Anonymous said...

My boyfriend has a psycho ex-girlfriend who pulled the "i'm pregnant and it's yours" about a month into our relationship (which was like 2 months after she disappeared on him). She claimed to be 3 months pregnant and then pulled this I've got cancer and the doctors told me I have to have an abortion because I"m not going to survive the cancer most likely but I have to take chemo and if i do there's no way I"ll make it full term. She played this card for about a month, month and a half. To which she managed to get him in person to come to her house and pull the same bit and then supposedly agreed to an abortion WHICH she claimed she had to go to Tennessee (like 3 hours away) when she could've had it done less than an hour away. AND to boot she wouldn't let him go with her to make sure it was done. Convenient? Well, she called him the day she supposedly had it done and wanted him to bring her soup and when he wouldn't she got all pissy. THEN a month or two later when it was well past the time frame to have an abortion (keep in mind she was stupid and posted pictures on her Myspace and Facebook of her drinking during this time) she calls him trying to get him to see her and when he didn't and ignored her texts she sends him one saying "btw...i didn't do it". Needless to say, it's 9 months later, no signs of cancer and no baby. PSYCHO??? UM YEAH!!!!

Anonymous said...

haha i had a girlfriend that had it in her head she was raped and some mexican left her with a baby then her parents tricked her into an abortion somehow.. thats what she always said but it wasnt true. well we banged for the first time, i was protected and didnt even get off. (cuz she was that bad lol) well 3 days later 2 of my friends were killed in a car accident and while im trying to talking to Crazy Bitch about it she says "well babe everything isnt about you, i've lost something too. i lost a child" i flipped shit and yelled for a while because when 2 close friends just passed, thats not the time to pull bullshit. after i was done yelling she had the balls to tell me she was knocked up. 3 days after we banged. she said she took 2 prego tests and she "just knows she is" haha i knew it was a lie and told her if she doesnt get rid of it i'll get rid of it myself. haha

Anonymous said...

I guess you also feel like you "die a little inside" when you masturbate too hey?
Ugh, you Americans.

Anonymous said...

What makes you think all Americans oppose abortion?

Anonymous said...

Im pretty late to the comment party but if you DONT die a little inside having an abortion (and im pro choice btw) you should be steralized because youll use it as BIRTH CONTROL. It is your body. It is your choice. But there is a difference in "not ready, was an accident" and being purposely reckless because you can terminate.

Anonymous said...

So I broke up with my girlfriend about a week and a half ago. I got all my stuff and left about four days after I went with her to Planned Parenthood to get the abortion pill. There we were at the clinic, she was hysterically crying, told me to get the fuck out or I will beat the shit out of you, all this stuff. I put it on myself, I fucked up. It was 2am on my birthday and I'm in the military, ran 8 miles at 0500 that morning, tired as fuck, half asleep, had not got off in two weeks, I didn't pull out. She told me whe didn't think she could get pregnant and we had been fucking for 7 months every day, in a relationship a little under a year, which stopped in frequency since I tried leaving her twice before all this happened, she just wanted to give me a birthday gift, so I didn't think much of it at the time. Testicle injuries over here, so I thought my swimmers were dead to boot. I digress. So today is fathers days. All the leadership of my unit is gone on leave, so it's just a handful of us back here getting shmammered and doing yard work. I wake up this morning after 3 days of hard drinking to "Happy Father's Day" to which I replied, "I'm blocking your number" since we agreed we would not contact each other after the breakup. She said she was going to kill herself after we broke up and I hadn't heard from her since, so I was stressing, but in my mind I knew she was just trying to manipulate me so I could keep paying her rent. Anyway, she goes on this litany of psycho bitch abuse and self-victimizing, calling me a coward and saying I was abusive when I never laid a finger on her (quite the opposite) and helped her get a job, ID, move out of her Mom's house, pay her half the rent, etc. She says I'm lucky she doesn't expose me to my religiously conservative family for the monster I am and that karma is going to get me and shit. So I hope on facebook to make sure she was no longer on my friends list and what do you know, still on there and newly "In a Relationship" with this wannabe Boy with the Dragon Tattoo douche a week and a half after I supposedly ruined her life and she was so hurt she was going to kill herself. To think I actually wasted all that energy worrying about her makes me feel like such a fucking retard. My word of advice, at the first sign of crazy bitchdom, GET THE FUCK OUT.

Anonymous said...

Bitches be crazy! That is all.