I'm psycho too, or so it seems.

All good things must come to an end. All bad things, however, usually never end. Well here it is, the end. It’s only fitting for our relationship that the cops would be there.




We were taking a ‘break’ (Friends-style) at the time, which informally kicked me out of the apartment, but that’s another story. I still had a working key since all of my stuff was still there and I frequently used it to pick up random CDs (back when paying for CDs were fashionable) or clothes. I also used it to check for clues to who (if anyone) was fucking my girlfriend. Not my proudest of moments.

Either she caught wind of this or she just wanted to drive that 4-inch nail in the empty plywood coffin that I called a relationship, she officially kicked me out...and never told me. I found this out when my key no longer worked. Thinking I was outsmarting her, I went to the apartment manager to get some help. They actually had my name at the front desk on a ‘do not accommodate’ list. Bitches.

Apparently I wasn’t on the lease and had no rights to the inside of the apartment. Mainly due to the fact that I never got around to putting my name on said lease even after being pressured every day by the girlfriend. That was my anti-genius moment. Whatever, I later learned she was unable to make rent so luckily I wasn’t liable to compensate. So I kinda reversed my anti-geniusism (real word).

I left a short, emo-inspired note on the door, “Why?”, and left to blow off some steam. Deja Vu was calling my name.

I’ve never been to a strip club before that day. Mostly because my ‘loved one’ frowned upon it (she dripped insecurity). For some reason I really needed to see a naked woman to calm me down. It worked...$250 later.

Strippers are really nice when tipped correctly. I paid for a great deal of lap dances from a girl who was new after being a long time waitress (awfully cliche). I recommend those because they actually care about your enjoyment. I hit on her, only to be politely turned down and that's when I left. If only she took me up on my offer, my night would have ended a great deal better.

My mom lived twenty miles away and the psycho's apartment was one and a half miles away. I thought I might as well stop by and try to talk things out. I pulled up and saw her parking space being occupied by a very familiar car...that wasn’t hers. I recognized the car as a friend/'co-worker' of hers that I already had doubts about. That was when I found myself at a fork in the road.

I could have received the hint and left, and then decided how to get my things later. I could have also grabbed my ‘foreign object’ from my car and dealt with this in a final fashion. What I ended up doing was running up the stairs and scaring the shit out of both of them, yelling obscenities, and making sure all her neighbors knew what kind of woman they were living next to. Keep in mind I was only 19. A very mature 19, but still a teenager. I'm not proud of that.

I challenged the ‘man’ to come out and prove himself. I challenged her to come out and have an adult conversation. I was the fucking psycho that night. I even challenged her to call the police on me, which she did. I would usually regret that challenge, but I was too smart for that shit.

I waited on the steps for the police to come. I saw them pass the apartment so I waved them down. I ran out to greet them and this was the jist of our exchange:

Me- Hello Officers. I’m pretty sure you are here on my account. (completely sober, by the way)
Police- What the hell is going on? Are you some kind of gang member, Sir? You’re wearing a lot of red.
Me- I’ve been kicked out of my home and I guess I’ve been making a lot of noise. My now ex-girlfriend has some guy up there now and I just want to get my stuff. Oh, and are you serious?
Police- Well, sit in the back and we’ll go talk to her.
Me- Can't you just handcuff me and let me in? That would help me out a lot.
Police- If I handcuff you, we have to take you in, and you don’t want that.
Me- What makes you so sure about that? That was a joke by the way.
Time passes.

Police- Sir, she says she doesn’t want you around, and frankly, I don’t think you want to be around her anymore. She doesn’t seem worth it and if she ever comes back around, you’re not gonna want her back. Just go home or whatever and call us when you want to arrange removal of your stuff.
Me- Yeah, but it still sucks.
In the back of my mind I was thinking about how bad it could have been if I would have had anything on me at that time.

4 comments:

Remy said...

Glad to hear you finally acted like a human and actually showed a little less restraint. ~HUGS~

Anonymous said...

I don't understand why the useless cops didn't help you get your stuff right then. They probably were about to change shifts or had to get to the donut shop or something else equally important.

Anonymous said...

Dood...you've got issues.

Get over it.

Anonymous said...

Dude you're as fucked up as her. This girl needs therapy bad. I know you made a mistake but in the future, staying with a girl like this bad not getting her help is fucked up. It's just feeding your ego. I won't side with you or her. You both need clinical therapy.