Her car 'disappears'.

Irony is a motherfucker.

In an ironic twist, my ex had her car stolen during our month apart. This happened just after she stopped paying her insurance so I assumed it was repossessed. If it was, she went through great lengths to hide that secret.

She called me for help and I quickly drove over there. I called the police for her and took care of the details for her and I blah blah blah for her. I would have done it for anyone. After the useless cop left, she asked me for more help. Even though I know she was thinking (and probably still thinks) I had something to do with her car disappearing. I wish I were that petty.

Me- Oh, now you need me? (in my most asshole-ish tone)
Her- (fake tears) How am I supposed to get to work now?
Me- Working 65 miles away isn’t such a good idea now, is it?
Her- Please!
Me- I would do anything for you. You know that.
Me driving her to work and picking her up everyday became my sorry excuse to see her. Sure, it took a toll on my piece-o'-shit car, but it gave me a small ounce of hope…and prolonged the sex life. I was a sad boy.

The real point of this story is for me to tell the happenings of a particular day driving her to work.

I stayed the night prior to driving her to work one day so I wouldn’t have to wake up as early. I doubt she even wanted me there seeing as we slept in the same bed (oddly enough), but didn't really acknowledge each other. Oh well.

In the morning, she was getting ready for work and woke me up about 5 minutes before time to go so I could fully wake before I drove (it takes me a minute). She was being unusually nice and flirtatious with me for whatever reason. I try not to question good things; I just try to let them happen. This good mood continued to the car where she was being extra touchy-feely with me. She kept flashing me and giggling like she was all coked up or something. Being 19, I just played along. In fact I did ‘play along’ the majority of the ride. The automatic transmission is a great invention. It leaves you free to use your off-hand for whatever a job may call for. You know, like adjusting the radio.

We arrived at her work, all smiles. I pulled into a parking space far from the building so she could ‘compose’ herself without a co-worker seeing. I get out to open the door for her and help her ‘re-adjust’ when I felt a pitbull lock its jaw on my soul…

Her- What the fuck are you doing!?
Me- I’m giving you a hand?
Her- I really don’t want people to see me bottomless.
Me- (there is no one around) Who the fuck is gonna see you? Let me help you put on your panties so you can go to work.
Her- Don’t touch me. (awkward silence)
Me- Well, have a great day at work, babe.
Her- I really don’t like you. Be here at 5.
Me- Whatever. If I show up, I show up.
I did show up, but I refused to let her control the stereo on the way home.
Ha! Take that bitch!


Remy said...

LOL Very passive aggressive of you. MY RADIO! NO TOUCHY! LOL I love it. Your ex sounds totally bi-polar.

marcii said...

your personality is attractive.