Queen Of Crazy, 8-21-12

I have some great ones. (the same girl)

 First One: I lived in a small town north of Boston for a few years and met M (as I will refer to her highness,, aka queen of crazy).

 There weren't many single woman in my desired age bracket (mid 30's) and she walked into my life. Hot and sexy as hell and a real independent, ball busting attitude!! I was bowled over and seriously couldn't see straight, I'm not going into details but it/we were like Hailey's Comet (me) meets runaway Quasar (her) I'm serious, no Hollywood movie ever portrayed the sparks we had, I was gaga like a 13 yr old at his first school dance lusting after 14yr olds (older women, YAY)

 Moving on, Anyway, 3 weeks in M wants to meet her parents in the town she grew up in, Me, being the accommodating former Mid Westerner, although thinking it may be too early for this to happen, foolishly said yes. Little did I know or prepare for the following. When she stated on our now unforgettable journey into madness "you might want to stop and get a couple of beers first" should have been a huge , in my face, red flag.

 Well, I did have a couple beers as she told me her mother's basically insane, comatose and can barely function. Wow, can't wait to meet her! (I thought as we proceed-ed to drive thru a pretty decent, leafy nice burb west of Boston)

 Beautiful New England colonials flashed past my window as I thought "This will not be that bad", as we rolled to a stop and M proclaims mutely, "We're here!" I'm looking at the house on the left, covered in ivy, unkempt and basically all around scary.

 My beer buzz immediately vanished as I tried to confidently knock on the chipped/cracked front door. Her father opened the door and we entered something I can't describe but will try. the smell it was first hit me, an odor consisting of staleness, scetchiness, mold , mildew. lost dreams, you name it (I could go on but won't) He tried to be polite as could be in a very nervous, uncomfortable way and I was about to find out why.

 The tilted paintings, crooked, coffee table and filthy carpet was just the first thing to rattle my cage. The second just walked in, M's mom or what use to be a mom. Dressed in a garage sale dress you couldn't give away she barked 'Do I know Youuuuuu? I put my hand out no I don't believe we've ever met (Good God somebody help me!) As she blinked thru her coke bottle glasses she turned sat down and stared straight ahead at the wall. In my life, and I've led a pretty unconventional one, I was completely more baffled scared, perplexed than a hooker's first time in court, I looked at the front door as an immediate exit (savior)

 ":Should I run for the hills and not look back." M sat quietly reading clothing ads from the paper.

 Part2 to come

1 comment:

Themagic man said...

Where is part two??